Do you ever feel you run around cleaning all day and never catch up? Don’t you wish you had some little elves to help you get all your chores done? Great news! You’ve probably got little elves because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have nearly as much cleaning to do. In fact, I’m betting you’re raising them right now.
- Kids and Chores – It’s Life!
- Benefits of Kids Doing Chores
- Help Kids Succeed at Chores
- Chores by Age
- Tips for Helping Kids Succeed
- Do your kids do chores?
Having children do chores can be a controversial topic. I’m firmly in the “kids should do chores” camp. If you’re not, feel free to close this window and move on.
Kids and Chores – It’s Life!
Involving your kids in household chores from a young age lets them know just how much time and effort go into taking care of a house. This is essential if you want them to respect your home and your space.
If you’re not teaching kids to respect your home, you’re going to have a lot of frustrating days ahead. Your child’s playmate’s parents and their teachers will appreciate you teaching your kids respect, as well.
Kids as young as 2 can chip in around the house — as long as adults keep their expectations reasonable. Even small chores help foster independence and gratitude.
Benefits of Kids Doing Chores
According to The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, kids who do chores may…
- Have higher self-esteem
- Be more responsible
- Deal with frustration better
- Face adversity more successfully
- Be able to better delay gratification
- Improve time management skills
- Improve organization skills
Plus, chores provide opportunities for success, and set a good foundation for functioning independently later in life.
Don’t think you’re doing your kids a favor by doing everything for them to “let them be little.” In the long run, you won’t be doing them any favors.
Help Kids Succeed at Chores
There’s a lot more to getting kids to do chores successfully than telling them to do it and walking away. As a former teacher, I’ve got some insight into how to teach and have applied some of those ideas below.
Keep chores age-appropriate
Ideally, you want to make sure the chores you give your kids are age appropriate so they can succeed. Their success is your success. In teaching terms, this is the “Zone of Proximal Development.”
Expecting a 2-year-old to fold a load of laundry wouldn’t be appropriate, but a 2-year-old can match socks and put them in a sock drawer.
Guide their learning
You’ll want to “scaffold” children’s learning as your kids learn to do chores. This means you’ll act as a support system for them. Give kids more support and direction as they are starting out and then reduce your assistance as as they become more and more capable.
Ways to guide learning:
- Demonstrate the chore for them
- Talk out the steps one by one
- Explain why the steps are important
- Put your hands on theirs to guide their actions
- Write out directions (older kids)
Celebrate Their Chore Success
Folding a pile of napkins might not be a big deal for you, but for kids doing it for the first time, it just might. Let them take pride in their work. Ooh and ahh over those napkins. Say, “Thank you.”
Give them a little reward like a sticker, but don’t overdo it with this.
DO NOT FIX THEIR WORK (more on this below).
Chores by Age
- help put toys away
- help feed pets
- match socks
- fold washcloths/cloth napkins
- help sort silverware
- carry their plate to the counter
- put silverware in the dishwasher
- sweep up crumbs with a dustpan
- put shoes away
- put dirty clothes in hampers
Everything above, plus…
- help set the table, start with silverware, and napkins
- help clear the table
- put some laundry away, start with socks and underwear
- dust window sills
- water plants
- stock bathrooms with toilet paper
- clean up toys playroom
- put pillows on their bed, you do the sheets
Everything above, plus
- pack lunch
- empty the dishwasher, start with silverware
- load the dishwasher
- fold towels
- wipe down bathroom sinks
- put folded laundry away
- wipe table after meals
- dust baseboards
- pull weeds
- gather household garbage
- scoop pet waste (litter box or in the yard)
- organize their drawers
- organize their desk
Everything above, plus
- make simple breakfast
- wash/dry/fold family towels
- sweep/blow out the (clean) garage
- empty the dishwasher
- clean toilets
- dust furniture
- take garbage/recycling cans to curb and back
- walk dogs
- go through toys/clothes and purge
- organize closet
Everything above, plus
- entire load of laundry
- hand wash dishes
- wipe counters
- spread mulch
Tips for Helping Kids Succeed
- Don’t fix their work. Are they going to do the job perfectly? Probably not. Should they put a reasonable amount of effort into the task? Absolutely. Don’t let them do a poor job just so they can get out of doing it next time but do let the pile of towels be crooked, let forks be messy in the drawer, let the plates be crooked in the dishwasher. Don’t undermine their efforts by redoing everything they’ve done.
- Be patient. What takes you 45 seconds may take them 5 minutes. They’ll get better and faster with practice. Avoid rushing them, hovering, micromanaging, and taking over, no matter how painful it may be.
- Make it fun. Blast some music, set a timer, make a time-lapse video (this one is super motivating for my kids).
- Choose chores that are ACTUALLY useful to you. Don’t choose pointless chores just for the sake of assigning chores.
- Expect resistance and stand strong. No one wants to do chores, including you. But if they live in your house and help make the messes they can help clean them up, as well. DO NOT GIVE INTO THE WHINING.
- Show mercy. Are all three of your kids playing beautifully in the backyard? Take one for the team and empty the dishwasher instead of interrupting play time.
- Offer a Reward? I can see both sides of this argument. Chores are a natural expectation and your child shouldn’t be fawned over for doing them. On the other hand, some chores stink and I’ve been known to pop a piece of candy in my mouth as a reward for doing a chore I didn’t want to do. I’d say, go with your gut, your child’s personality, and the situation here. My kids have regular chores I expect them to do and “above and beyond” chores that they get paid for doing.
Personality and Chores
The earlier you expect and teach your kids to do chores, the easier it will be once they’re older. A lot will also depend on the child and their personality.
My 9-year-old does her chores quickly and efficiently (albeit with an attitude) so she can move on and do something she enjoys.
My 7-year-old has a better attitude about chores, but he’s easily distracted and has been known to feign helplessness. His chores take ages to complete unless he has a specific motivator, such as screen time.
The 4-year-old is hit or miss. She ranges from motivated to tantrum-y to manipulative when asked to do a chore.
Update: My kids are now 13, 11, and 8. Everything I wrote 4 years ago is still perfectly accurate.
Using Chore Charts
Chore charts are a helpful tool for keeping track of which kids do which chores on which day. They’re especially useful if you’re tracking chores to pay kids allowances.
This post has several (free) printable chore chart options that are customizable.
Do your kids do chores?
Every family is different. There’s no one right answer when it comes to having kids do chores, which chores they do, and whether or not you pay them for doing those chores. Hopefully this post has given you some ideas on how you can make chores work for you.
Did I miss any good ones on my list? Drop a comment and let me know!